


Your heartbeat (it becomes a part of me)

by whosbrian



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3racha is a rock band consiting of five people, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Somewhat Christmas themed, Students, bassist felix, binsung are absolute dumbasses, making out as a mean to relieve pre performance stress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whosbrian/pseuds/whosbrian
Summary: The silence stretched between the two boys, and Felix could see that Minho was growing impatient, shifting from foot to foot with a soft blush on his cheeks. Felix thought it was very cute, but that it would be very rude of him to keep such a pretty boy waiting any longer. He cleared his throat. “If I come tonight, it’s without any obligations. Just to see how it is with the other guys. I’ll decide if I stay after we’re done. Deal?”Minho let out a long breath Felix didn’t know he had been holding and shot him a bright smile. “Perfect. You’ll like it, I promise.”Or, Felix's friends get him to join a band for their school's Christmas show without him knowing.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	Your heartbeat (it becomes a part of me)

**Author's Note:**

> hi!
> 
> when i told the plot for this au to my sister she instantly said 'so basically you're rewriting given' which was honestly not where this idea came from, but after some thinking i did come to the conclusion that the song they performed at their gig fit really well into my story! so, [here](https://open.spotify.com/track/0bgujdpFkvd6vmQpqmT2pz) is the song 3racha are performing! the title comes from given's [opening](https://open.spotify.com/track/6bBTOkYn0vJJ33kH0IbZ0S) which i absolutely adore. if you haven't watched given i highly recommend it, it's one of the best animes i've watched so far. 
> 
> hope you enjoy reading!

Peeking through a sliver of open curtain to watch his friends perform onstage, Felix leaned against a light fixture, sturdy and grounding him backstage. Seungmin and Jeongin were singing their hearts out, looking at each other with sparkling eyes, like this was the most natural thing for them to do. Like standing on a stage in front of a couple hundred people, their family and friends included, performing a song they had only been practicing for a couple of weeks with the biggest smile on their faces was no big deal.

Felix hated them both.

  
  


**_A month before_ **

  
  


Everything was their fault anyway. They had been the ones who spotted the poorly designed poster searching for a bassist for the school’s annual talent show taking place around Christmas. Without Felix even knowing, they had contacted the band and told them that their friend would absolutely _love_ to join them. 

Two days later, Felix was sitting in the student lounge, a book open in his lap, his headphones blaring punk music at a questionable volume. In the middle of reading through a very tense battle scene, he almost jumped out of his seat when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Assuming it was either Seungmin or Jeongin, he took off his headphones in a haste, ready to curse them out, but instead faced a guy from a year above him, with beautiful cat-like eyes and a guilty expression on his face.

“Fuck,” the other started, “sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. You’re Felix, right?” 

“Depends who’s asking.” Felix answered with a frown. He did _not_ like to be interrupted when he was reading, no matter how cute the guy interrupting him was. (Though, he had to admit, that guy was fucking _gorgeous_ ).

The other shot him a confused look. “I’m Minho? From the band that’s searching for a bassist? Your friends told us you wanted to join our group for the Christmas show.”

Felix stared back at him with wide eyes. His friends had said _what_?

“They really told you that? I never agreed to this.” _I’m_ so _going to kill them later_. He closed his book with care, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Oh.” Minho’s shoulders slouched slightly. “They seemed very hyped about it, I really thought they were serious about you joining. Our old bassist graduated and we’re still missing one for the show.” His lips (which, Felix noticed, had a very pretty curve to them) turned to a small pout. “Are you sure you don’t want to play with us? Your friends told us you’re a prodigy. We’d love to have you in our band.”

“But isn’t the show really soon?” Felix quickly checked the date on his phone. “Dude, it’s in a month. How am I supposed to learn a song in that short amount of time? I mean, I’m not _bad_ , but- ”

“I know it’s soon,” Minho cut him off, “but I’m not asking you to commit to it yet. Just, come to practice with me tonight, see how you like it, then you can decide if you stay. Does that work for you?”

Felix stared at Minho, pondering. Truth was, he _could_ learn a song in a month. Easily. But he had never stepped foot on a stage in his life, and just the thought of it made his hands clammy. He had played the bass for years and he loved it more than anything. He was very passionate about it, spending hours on end practicing the same riff over and over again to finally get it right. It had just never occurred to him that music was meant for the stage, meant to be performed and appreciated by actual people and not just his dog.

The silence stretched between the two boys, and Felix could see that Minho was growing impatient, shifting from foot to foot with a soft blush on his cheeks. Felix thought it was very cute, but that it would be very rude of him to keep such a pretty boy waiting any longer. He cleared his throat. “If I come tonight, it’s without any obligations. Just to see how it is with the other guys. I’ll decide if I stay after we’re done. Deal?”

Minho let out a long breath Felix didn’t know he had been holding and shot him a bright smile. “Perfect. You’ll like it, I promise.”

~

Felix arrived at the music room only to be met with chaos.

Minho was there, as handsome as he had been in the morning, arguing with a scary looking guy with very big arms who was waving drumsticks around. His movements were limited by the small guy sitting on his lap, who looked perfectly unbothered by the shouting as he scrolled through his phone. A fourth guy who seemed familiar was sitting on the ground between the bickering pair, earphones plugged in and laptop resting on a precarious pile of books in front of him. Music sheets covered in messy handwriting littered the floor, along with opened schoolbags and a bunch of candy wrappers. Their instruments were still in their cases, scattered around the room.

Felix was about to turn back and go home when Minho finally noticed him standing by the entrance. He beamed at him, like he wasn’t cursing out his friend the second before and ignoring said friend’s angry look. “Felix! You made it!” He turned back to the drummer, pointing an accusing finger at his face. “I told you he’d come! You have _no_ faith in me.”

“Because you scare everyone away with your resting bitch face!” the other replied, to which the boy on his lap giggled.

“Oh, _now_ you’re paying attention?” Minho threw at the smaller boy. “When I kindly ask you to go find our bassist _that’s in the same class as you, might I remind you,_ you can’t hear shit, but when it’s time to _slander_ me you’re suddenly all ears? I expected better from you, Han Jisung.”

Jisung only snorted. “‘S’ not my fault staying with Bin is more fun than listening to you. Besides, weren’t you glad to be the first one to see how ‘fucking adorable’ our new bassist was?” he teased, air-quoting his remark and wiggling his eyebrows. Narrowly avoiding the pen Minho threw at his head, he curled onto himself, letting his boyfriend hold him as he laughed at Minho’s blushing ears. If looks could kill, Jisung would _definitely_ be dead by now.

The boy sitting on the floor, like he was suddenly aware of the mess going on over his head, took his gaze away from his laptop and removed his earphones. His eyes met Felix’s and a smile reached his face. “Felix! I didn’t know _you_ were our miracle bassist.”

Felix felt some tension leave his shoulders upon seeing a familiar face. “Chan! I didn’t know I was joining _your_ band.”

Minho’s attention drifted to their conversation, ignoring Jisung and his boyfriend's chuckles. “Wait, you two know each other?”

“Yeah,” Felix answered, smiling, “he tutored me in maths, what, two years ago?”

“Thank God I did,” Chan laughed, “you were _terrible_.”

Felix turned to Minho, slightly hurt by the jab (though he _had_ been horrible at maths until Chan helped him). “Did I just walk into a slander house or is this just how you guys communicate?”

Minho opened his mouth to answer, but Jisung cut him short. “Dude, we’re the band kids, we _obviously_ don’t have the social abilities to communicate otherwise.”

Minho shook his head in despair as Jisung's boyfriend threw his head back in laughter. “Babe, you’re going to scare the new kid away.”

“Like you haven’t scared him already with those big sexy arms of yours,” the other replied with a grin, groping said arms for dramatic effect.

“Can you idiots shut up for five seconds and introduce yourselves properly?”

Jisung threw a sulky look at Chan but turned to face Felix, wiggling on Changbin’s lap. “Hi Felix, I’m Jisung, I play the guitar better than Minho-”

“Fuck you!”

“-and I am comfortably seated on my boyfriend, Changbin, who plays the drums,” he finished, heart-shaped smile on full display, completely ignoring Minho’s look of pure betrayal. Leaning towards Felix as much as his seating arrangement allowed him, he whisper-yelled, pointing back at Changbin. “He looks really hot doing it.” 

Felix threw the pair a small wave and an amused _hi_ as Changbin pressed a kiss on Jisung’s cheek. They sure were an interesting duo. Realizing he was still standing in the doorway, he walked up to the center of the room, narrowly avoiding the many papers littered on the old carpet, and took a seat on the floor in front of Chan. “So,” he asked him with a small jerk of his chin, “what instrument do you play? I don’t remember you talking about a band when you tutored me.”

Before Chan could answer, Minho let out an insulted gasp. “You didn’t talk to him about our band _at all_? What kind of leader are you?”

Chan threw his hands up in surrender. “Don’t look at me like that! We had literally _just_ started the group at that time and I didn’t think we would last super long since you guys weren’t a hundred percent committed yet. I admit my fault, now please don’t kill me.”

Minho’s frown didn’t falter, but he nodded nonetheless. “Fine. But you’re paying for everyone next time we go out for dinner.”

“Free food!” Jisung yelled as Chan protested with an offended _hey!_ that Minho promptly ignored. The latter turned to Felix. “He plays the keyboard, and he’s the one who makes most of our songs. He’s pretty much a genius.”

“Don’t minimize the work you three put in the tracks, Min,” Chan said, his tone way softer than before. “I couldn’t do all of it without your input, you know that.”

As surprised as he was to hear the guys being actually nice to each other, Chan’s compliment wasn’t what caught Felix’s ear the most. “You guys _make_ songs?”

Chan smiled wide, his eyes crinkling, dimples on full display. “Since day one. It was just me at first, but the others quickly started to help me with riffs and melodies. Minho has been taking care of the vocal lines for a while now, actually. He’s really good.”

Heat creeped on Minho’s cheeks. “Going soft on me won’t make me forget about your betrayal, Bang,” he grumbled. Quickly averting the subject, he asked Felix. “You haven’t composed before?”

He shook his head. “Not really. I’ve been playing the bass since I was a kid, but every single time I tried to write something of my own it turned out to be complete crap, so I stopped.”

Minho hummed in understanding and Changbin let out a huff, shifting his grip on Jisung’s waist. “They probably weren’t all as bad as you thought, you know. It’s easy to be overly critical of your own craft. That’s why we work as a team. We make sure to empower each other in a way we can’t do towards ourselves so we bring out the best of everyone.” 

Jisung looked at his boyfriend with wide eyes, and Chan let out a long whistle. “That’s the coolest thing you’ve ever said,” the younger declared before pulling Changbin down in a strong kiss. Felix laughed as the two others groaned in unison. 

“Enough,” Chan whined, “we get it, Bin’s a poet, now stop damaging Felix’s soul. He literally _just_ came in.”

The latter shrugged. “I think they’re cute,” he said, giggling at Minho’s scandalized expression. 

Jisung unlatched himself from Changbin’s hold to give Felix a high five. “We’re going to be great friends, I can tell,” he said with a grin.

Minho shook his head, defeated. The sun outside the music room’s windows was getting lower, engulfing the five boys in its warm orange light. “How did we manage to make introductions so freaking long,” he wondered out loud. “Felix, now that we’re all set, do you want to hear our song for the Christmas show?”

The younger nodded vigorously. Chan unplugged his earphones from his laptop and connected it to the amp instead. “Hold on, I’ll find it and play it for you.”

It took Chan a minute to find the song, searching through his folders and cursing at his own shitty organization. At last, he pressed play, and the track rang through the room.

Felix was impressed. That song was _good_ , both musically and lyric-wise. The bass riff wasn’t too prominent, but it was very heavy and a little sexy. Minho’s singing voice was surprisingly soft in contrast to his slightly raspy speaking tone, but it suited the song extremely well, and Felix wondered how pretty it must sound when he was singing live. His head bopped to the beat, and he pulled a stank face when the guitar solo filled the bridge. This was amazing.

When it ended, all four boys were looking at him intently, waiting for his feedback. “It’s good. Really fucking good.” Minho smiled at him warmly.

“We still have a few adjustments to make,” Chan said, modest as always, “but this is pretty much what we made for this year. You can pipe in too if you think we should change something, especially about the bass line.”

Changbin raised a drumstick. “I have a suggestion. Shouldn’t we make the solo a little longer? I feel like there’s kind of a gap at the end of the bridge.”

Chan turned back to his laptop screen, rewinding to find the part Changbin was talking about. Minho leaned closer, resting his elbows on his knees, hands moving in the air as he followed the riff on an imaginary guitar. 

Felix only looked at the four boys in awe as they discussed the best way to fill in the bridge. Watching them work on the song together was so fucking _cool_. Coincidentally, Felix noted that from the moment he had walked in, this was the first time they had been doing anything except bickering.

He tuned out the other’s conversation, replaying the entire song in his mind as best as he could. The bass riff was catchy, kind of addicting. He hummed it quietly with a small smile. _This is genius_ , he thought. As the music kept filling his head, his fingers drummed to the beat on his thighs. He wanted to play that riff. He _had_ to play that riff. His hands itched for it.

“Can I try it out?” Felix requested, interrupting them, his knee bouncing in eagerness.

Four heads turned to him with such speed that their necks must’ve cracked. “The bass line?” Chan asked. Felix nodded.

Chan didn’t see Minho’s surprised expression as he urged Felix to go ahead. Not having brought his own, he picked up the school’s old bass from where it hung on the wall before sitting back down next to the amp. He plugged it in and tested it to make sure it was tuned (which it wasn’t exactly, but his picky ears would have to deal with it). “Play it again?” he urged Chan. With a nod, the older pressed play, and the song filled the room once again. Felix’s head bopped to the beat, listening closely to imprint the first chorus into his mind. His fingers flew around the bass’s neck, finding the right frets, and when the second chorus came, he followed it as best as he could, cringing at the strings’ slightly out of tune sound, but playing the right notes nonetheless. He hadn’t been able to play in the past few days because of a lengthy project, so he felt a bit rusty, but he discovered that the song was really fun to play. Joy bloomed into his chest. _God, I really missed playing,_ he thought, transported by the music, completely forgetting about the other boys in the room.

The song came to an end. Felix was beaming, the adrenaline making his head a little fuzzy. The room was completely silent, and he looked up from the bass to see the four boys staring at him with wide eyes. His smile fell. “Did I do something wrong?”

Minho shook his head. “ _‘How am I supposed to learn the song if the show is only a month away?’_ ” he said, imitating Felix’s deep tone. “What kind of bullshit was that? You nailed it after one listen. Your friends were right, you _are_ a prodigy.”

Heat rose to Felix’s face under Minho’s admiring gaze. 

Jisung scrambled from Changbin’s lap, almost falling face first on the music room’s floor in the process. He came to sit closer to Felix and put a hand on his shoulder. “So? Are you in?”

Felix scanned the boys in front of him. Jisung’s eyes were sparkling in excitement, and he gripped his shoulder so tightly he thought he wouldn’t ever let go. Chan looked at him with a knowing smile, like he knew what he’d say already. Changbin’s face was neutral, his arms crossed over his broad chest, but his gaze was heavy, filled with expectation. Minho… Felix felt the remnants of his resolve melt upon seeing the boy's expression. His heart was pierced through and through by Minho’s almost pleading eyes, asking him to stay. To play with them. To be one of them.

He took a deep breath. “I’ll do it.” It couldn’t be that bad, right? He’d be fine.

  
  
  


**_A month later_ **

It turned out it _could_ be that bad, and that he would _not_ be fine.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw Changbin practicing his set with his eyes closed, his drumsticks swinging around dangerously in the narrow space of the backstage hallway. Jisung quietly creeped behind him with a devilish grin and vigorously slapped him on the butt, the resonating smack making Felix wince in empathy, startling the older. As Jisung silently laughed his ass off, Changbin held up his drumsticks in a threatening manner, whisper-yelling profanities at his boyfriend.

“I almost had a heart attack, you idiot!”

“What are you gonna do about it, huh? Kiss me?”

Jisung let out a scream as Changbin started poking his sides with his sticks, earning a lot of frustrated _shhh_ from the other performers around them. They both took off further down the backstage hallway, fighting for another while, the younger dodging his boyfriend’s attacks, before Changbin finally managed to grab both of Jisung’s hands and pin him against the wall. They stared at each other for a few tension-filled seconds, breathless, Jisung’s heart-shaped smile at his widest point, before he leaned to place a peck on the older’s lips, to which Changbin responded with a more passionate kiss that quickly turned into a full on makeout session, interrupted by their giggles and quiet whispers.

_How the fuck are they so calm about all this?_ Felix thought, envious. His hands were sweaty and slightly shaking, and no matter how hard he tried to practice his riffs in his head, he couldn’t focus at all. His breathing was still somewhat stable, but where the weight of his bass around his neck usually felt safe and familiar, it now felt heavy and uncomfortable. 

His breath picked up when he heard Seungmin and Jeongin finish their song, the audience clapping loud for them. As they bowed hand in hand, radiating pride, Felix heard Hyunjin, his best friend and backstage manager, call through the noise.

“Alright, Ateez, you guys are on now, Somi follows and 3racha are up next, so get prepared!”

Felix’s eyes widened, heart beating so fast in his ribs that he felt like they might break, or like he might pass out. He made his way to his bandmates with shaky legs and leaned against the wall for balance. Changbin and Jisung were still latched to each other, Changbin holding Jisung in a back hug with his chin hooked on the younger’s shoulder as they exchanged excited whispers. Chan’s eyes were fixed on the stage, watching their friends get in formation to start their dance performance, his face peaceful. Minho seemed to be the only one to truly notice Felix’s state. He came to lean on the wall beside him, giving him an encouraging smile.

“Nervous?” the older asked.

Felix considered for a second to pretend to be fine, not to look weak in front of his crush, but Minho’s genuine concern was obvious in his eyes. With a sigh, he replied. “I’m fucking terrified. How am I supposed to just... go up there and play like we do at practice, when _everyone_ will be watching?” He paused, letting out a frustrated huff. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

Minho’s smile turned into a small frown as he nudged the younger. “That’s no way to see this, Lix. This is your first time performing, it’s normal that you’re nervous. But don’t you dare say you can’t do it. We all know you can. You’re our ace, remember? You can play absolutely anything.”

Minho’s words, matched with his caring smile, did help Felix calm down a little bit. He rolled his shoulders in an attempt to relieve them of some tension and took hold of his bass’ neck. Anything to try and keep himself grounded.

He made the mistake of looking through the stage curtains to where his friends were currently dancing. His heart dropped back to his stomach.

In a few minutes, _he_ would be the one on that stage. He would be the one at the mercy of the hundred or so people in front of him, ready to point out any of his mistakes. There was no way it would go well, no-

His twisting thoughts were interrupted by Minho’s calloused hand on his cheek as the older stepped in front of him, hiding the stage from his view completely.

“Hey there.” He planted his eyes in Felix’s, locking their gazes together. “Don’t look at them, ok? They’re doing their thing, we’ll do ours. You’ve seen their performance a billion times at rehearsal anyway. Same ol’ thing everytime.” Minho let out a small laugh. “Just breathe for me, alright?” Slowly, they inhaled together, then let out a long exhale. “Good,” the older said. “Now keep looking at me, and keep breathing. Keep your focus here. We’ll be fine up there. _You’ll_ be fine. Even better, you’ll be _great_.” He ran a hand through the younger’s hair, the touch soothing Felix’s nerves. Then, his smile turned a little shy. “You know, Changbin and Jisung’s makeout session earlier really seems to have calmed their nerves. Do you think…” He chewed on his bottom lip before finishing his thought. “ Do you think it’d work for you too? You can definitely say no though,” he added quickly.

Felix felt his cheeks heat up from the blunt proposition. Granted, he had definitely noticed the changes in his and Minho’s interactions in the past month, getting more comfortable and touchy with each other, but his crush asking him to makeout to relieve his stress before going on stage was _not_ among the things he had expected to happen tonight. 

His brain worked at light speed. Was this actually a good idea? I mean, it’s not like he’d never thought about it. Would it help him calm down though? It sounded to him like it’d only make him more freaked out. But then, how stupid would he be to say no to Minho asking to kiss him. He _did_ want to kiss the guy. A lot.

Minho let out a giggle. “I can hear you thinking, Lix. We don’t have to, I was just throwing the idea out there. No pressure.”

“Hum,” he started, blushing furiously, but with a determined look on his face, “it did seem to work well for them, so, uh, we can try?”

“Great,” Minho replied, his grin growing even wider.

He hooked both of his hands behind Felix’s neck and leaned in, placing a soft peck onto his lips before pulling back to check his reaction. Heart pounding in his chest, the younger pulled him back in, burying one hand in Minho’s hair, the other circling his waist, holding him closer. The strings of his bass made a low screeching sound when Minho pressed his body into it, but neither of them really cared.

_Is this really happening?_ Felix asked himself before Minho softly bit into his lower lip, emptying his mind of any thought that didn’t involve his crush kissing him rather passionately. He could still faintly hear the music blaring from the speakers on both sides of the room, the stomping of his friends’ feet on the stage as they danced, but it was all faded, pushed to the back of his mind. Instead, he was strongly aware of Minho’s fingers threading through his hair, the slight taste of cinnamon on the other’s tongue, the top curve of his bass digging into his ribs, the heat of Minho’s chest against his. It was all _a lot_ , but it was somehow easier to handle than the perspective of going under the spotlights and playing their song. And it _did_ feel really fucking good to kiss Minho.

They only pulled away when they heard Hyunjin’s call through the crowd’s cheering. Both a little breathless, they smiled at each other for a second before Minho gave Felix’s cheek a reassuring squeeze. 

“Better?”

“Better.”

Felix didn’t want to let go. Didn’t want Minho to stop kissing him, didn’t want to leave his safe embrace to go perform.

To Felix’s dismay, Minho took his hand off of his cheek to reach behind his own neck, unclasping his necklace. He let the delicate key pendant dangle in the narrow space between them.

“Take it. My mom gave it to me the night of our first ever performance. I…” He laughed with a small shake of his head. “I’m not superstitious, but I _really_ think it worked as a good luck charm, and I wore it every time I got on stage since then. You should have it.”

Felix gaped at him. “Minho, I can’t-”

Minho’s smile widened, a little mischievous on the edges. “I wasn’t asking, Lix,” he said softly as he reached behind Felix’s neck to put the necklace around his throat. His fingers followed the chain down to the pendant, his palm resting on Felix’s chest, feeling it rise with every breath. “I’m giving it to you, for tonight. You deserve it.”

Felix felt heat rise onto his cheeks. He placed his hand over Minho’s on his chest, breathing together, eyes still set on each other. “Ready?” the older asked. Felix nodded. He was surprised to find that he wasn’t lying to reassure Minho. He was still nervous, but he _did_ feel ready.

Hand in hand, they gathered with the other guys for Chan’s usual pep-talk, ignoring Jisung’s amused look.

“Alright children,” Chan started, “this is it. I know we literally finished the song ten days ago, but it’s really fucking good, and it’s _us_. The best us we’ve ever been. Let’s give the audience all we’ve got. We do our best and have fun up there, yeah?”

Jisung gave an enthusiastic _yeah!_ in return, Changbin clapped with a grin, Minho patted their leader on the back and Felix… Well, Felix was still processing his makeout session with Minho, so he only nodded before turning to the stairs leading to the stage. 

Minho picked up his guitar and got up on the first step, then turned back to Felix. Gently, he reached to touch the delicate necklace around the younger’s neck, holding the pendant in his slender fingers, before letting it fall back on his chest. His eyes met Felix’s, a momentary wordless conversation held between them. Felix felt his breathing ease down, his heartbeat still fast, but quieter. All that existed was Minho and his bass. Nothing else.

Felix was the last one on stage. Through the darkness, he looked around to see his bandmates quickly settling into place, making sure their guitars were still tuned and checking the settings on the keyboard. They all looked in their element, like they were born to be there. It gave Felix a boost of confidence. _They know what they’re doing, and they trust me. I won’t let them down._

They all settled on their marked spot on the stage, instruments tuned, and signaled to the technician behind the curtain that they were ready. At once, the spotlights were on, shining down on them, and Felix came to a realization with a jolt.

Under the lights illuminating him and his bandmates, he couldn’t even see the audience. He could _feel_ them, could practically grasp their excitement, but he couldn’t see them looking back at him. The weight of his bass didn’t feel so heavy anymore.

He glanced to the center of the stage, where Minho was standing in front of his mic, guitar in hand, smiling at him reassuringly. The glow of the spotlights made his eyes a shade lighter and his smile even more radiant. Felix had never found him so beautiful. They nodded at each other, then at their bandmates.

The first note rang through the room, and suddenly Felix felt _alive_.

Suddenly, the nervousness and sweaty palms from before were gone, replaced with an overwhelming feeling of belonging and pure happiness. He smiled wide, not missing a single note, his fingers flying over the strings like never before. He let the music transport him, run through him, inhabit him, feeling it course through his entire body. He could feel the drum pounding under the sole of his boots and the deep notes of his own bass ringing through his legs up to his head. Looking at his bandmates, he saw that they all shared the same blissful expression. Even though he didn’t have a mic, he sang along to every word Minho was singing to the audience, the older’s sweet voice filling his ears. He even let out an enthusiastic _fuck yeah!_ when Jisung perfectly finished his solo.

He had never felt so powerful in his life. He fucking _loved_ it.

Before he knew it, their song was over. Through their high, they all gathered to the center of the stage in a messy group hug, their guitars crashing against each other, before turning to face the audience, whose cheering was the loudest they had heard all night. Felix found Minho’s hand by his side and gave it a squeeze that the older gave right back.

They bowed once, then twice, all of them beaming. Felix spotted his parents in the crowd and enthusiastically waved at them as they made their way off the stage.

The five of them scrambled down the stairs backstage only to shed their instruments quickly and huddle back into a group hug, not even bothering to keep their voices down as they marveled over their performance.

“Jisung, you fucking _nailed_ your solo, holy crap.”

“Did you guys hear me hit that high note?”

“Bin, that last run was _so hot_ , oh my god.”

“Get a room!”

Felix stood in the middle of the hug, simply smiling up at them and listening to their affectionate bickering, content. His ears were still buzzing from the adrenaline and the cheering of the crowd. His bandmates’ happiness trapped him into a safe and warm bubble. He felt like he was floating, flying maybe. He loved it, and he never wanted to get down.

~

The hallway backstage was almost empty when Minho finally walked up to Felix, his steps making the old wood floorboards creak. He leaned on the wall next to the younger, who was seated cross legged in front of his bass, slowly packing up. 

“You get it now, don’t you?” he asked.

Felix glanced up at him. His lips were shining in the dim glow of the remaining stage lights. “Get what?”

“The high of being on stage. The reason we keep performing, year after year. You felt it too, no?”

The younger stood up, their eyes now leveled, and shot him his widest smile. Minho had never seen him so happy. It looked good on him. “I did. I really did. I don’t think I can properly describe it, it’s like I was out of my own body, but so _grounded_ at the same time, like…”

“Like you discovered a whole new part of yourself?” Minho finished.

Felix beamed at the older, eyes shining like they were filled with stars. “Exactly! It’s like the me that lives for the stage was always there, but I never got the chance to let it out, you know?”

Minho’s heart grew warm at the younger’s excitement. “I _do_ know. It’s the exact same feeling I got the first time Chan managed to drag me to join him and the two others for the Christmas show. I was scared shitless, but the second I let out the first note it all made _sense_.”

The older laughed as Felix vigorously nodded. 

“I think you had a play in this, though.”

Minho’s head tilted to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have felt as calm on stage if you hadn’t been there. I mean, of _course_ it wouldn't have worked without you or any of the guys, but if I hadn’t worn your magic necklace and if you hadn’t… If we hadn’t…” He let his words trail, not finishing his sentence, as blush cutely creeped onto his cheeks.

Minho laughed, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, playing with his necklace. “I get what you mean, but you’ve got it all wrong. You’re a freaking prodigy, it’s only natural that you felt so at home on a stage. You were born for this, Felix. No piece of jewelry or makeout session can take that away from you.” Slowly, he dragged his hand up the younger’s neck, raising goosebumps, reaching for the stray hairs on his forehead to tuck them back. He lingered. Felix’s breath audibly caught in his throat, and Minho could feel the tension building between them. He took a step forward.

He was leaning towards Felix, their lips almost meeting, when a loud yell from the end of the hallway snapped them out of their daze. Keeping close to each other, they turned to see Jisung perched on Changbin’s back, his guitar safely tucked in its case but precariously strapped to his back, almost hitting the walls as they made their way towards them. The image made Minho both cringe in fear for the precious instrument’s life and smile affectionately. “What do you two think you’re doing, huh?” Jisung yelled again. “Now’s not the time to make out, it’s time to partyyyy!” He unhooked his hands from Changbin’s neck to improvise a little dance, wiggling on his boyfriend’s back, who struggled to stay balanced but seemed unfazed by the younger boy’s shenanigans. He quickly regained his footing, smiling fondly.

Minho and Felix exchanged an amused look. “You guys coming soon?” Changbin asked them.

“Don’t worry, I was just waiting for Felix to finish packing up his stuff. We’ll be right there.”

Changbin nodded. “Don’t take too long. I really don’t want to interrupt your moment, but _someone_ is getting very eager to celebrate our kickass performance,” he told them while hoisting Jisung higher on his back. The latter let out an excited _yoohoo!_ and hugged his boyfriend a little tighter.

Minho repressed a laugh. “Is he drunk already?”

“Just a little tipsy,” Changbin shrugged. “He only took one sip from Mingi’s drink, but you know how he gets when he mixes the post-performance high and beer.”

Minho hummed in understanding and moved closer to Felix to let the pair pass, Jisung’s excited yells getting slowly lost in the distance. 

The last group of performers that had been packing up made their way out of the backstage hallway, squeezing themselves to pass by the two boys, congratulating them once again on their performance and greeting them goodnight. Minho threw them a wave as they got past the heavy curtains hiding the hallway from the audience. He turned back to Felix.

“So, you’ll join us next year for the Christmas show? You’ll stick around?”

Felix’s grin fell a little. “Wait, why just next Christmas? I thought you guys did gigs everywhere around town during the year.” The boy’s grin turned into a frown, and his face took the expression Minho had come to know as Felix’s overthinking and freaking out face.

Minho sighed softly and brought his hands to gently cup his face, squishing his cheeks. “Stop overthinking it. Of course I want you to play with us during the year. I just didn’t want to pressure you into it. The Christmas show is one thing, but the gigs are a completely different thing. We don’t play only one song there.”

Felix’s face instantly lost its dreadful expression, replaced with a warm, warm smile, so bright Minho thought the entire room was alight.

“Does that mean we’ll make more songs together? And have a setlist? And like… Random people coming to see us play?”

Mino felt his heart grow warm, stopping himself from cooing at the last second. _How can one man be so damn cute_ , he wondered. “It means all of that, Lix. We got lucky last year and became regulars at this little pub downtown, and with an ace like you in our group I’m convinced we’ll do it again.” He paused, taking in Felix’s happy glow, the way his freckles seemed to sparkle in the colorful lighting coming from the stage, his radiant smile. He couldn’t help the endeared grin that reached his lips, thinking back on the last month they had spent together with the rest of the band. Seeing the shy little bookworm get more and more comfortable with his bunch of loud theater kids had truly been a beautiful sight, but seeing Felix’s confidence grow with each practice was the real treasure. Tonight’s performance was the culminating point of this gorgeous growth, and Minho had been filled with joy when he saw Felix making himself at home on the stage. Having the younger by his side had made his comfort place even more comfortable and his crush on him even stronger. He wanted to spend many, many more nights playing with him, if just to see that blindingly beautiful smile again. 

“Can I confess something?” Minho blurted out, cheeks heating up. When the younger nodded, he took a small breath. “I like you a lot better than our old bassist.” He shook his head slightly. That wasn’t it. “I like you a lot, period.”

If he thought Felix’s smile had been bright before, the one he gave Minho at that moment put all the previous ones to shame, especially paired with the pink blush painting his freckled cheeks. God, Minho was in _so_ deep for this boy. “I like you a lot too,” Felix said, circling Minho’s waist a little tighter. “And I can’t wait to be on stage with you again.”

When they kissed this time, there was no bass in between them pushing into their ribs. Their bodies pressed flush against each other, Felix’s torso warm against Minho’s, their lips moving more confidently, their hands roaming softly. Their hearts beat furiously in both their chests, their erratic rhythm mixing so perfectly Minho wasn't sure which one was his and which one was Felix's. The same euphoria as when he was on stage bubbled in Minho’s stomach, and he thought that Felix might be his calling just as much as music was.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


(They kissed until a drunk Jisung, a surprisingly tipsy Changbin and sober Seungmin and Jeongin barged into the theater, singing a cheesy love song at the top of their lungs. The youngest pair were still glowing from their performance high, but their expression turned from ecstatic to shocked when they saw Felix and Minho pressed against each other behind the stage curtains. Jisung’s wolf whistle and Jeongin’s scandalized screech echoed through the empty room, and when their lips unlatched from each other, Felix couldn’t help the string of giggles that escaped him, a sound to which Minho couldn’t resist. He laughed as well and pressed one last peck to the younger’s lips before they joined their friends. This night couldn’t be more perfect.)

**Author's Note:**

> hello!
> 
> thank you soso much for reading, every click is super meaningful to me <3 this fic is very special to me, both because of its links to given and because of the inspiration behind it, i really hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> as always a huge thank you to kiera for proofreading this, you're the absolute best
> 
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/leeminhoelic) !


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